Hi Tom … you know, I’ve come to see this as kind of a “developmental task” as we learn to navigate race and privilege in our personal relationships. I’m happy that it occurs to her to check in about her tone, etc. But it puts the responsiblity right back on me, the Black person in the relationship, to smooth the way and make sure the White person is feeling okay. It requires each of us to be intentional about communicating with each other, and be willing to have some difficult conversations.

Thanks for reading, I appreciate your comments.